The Vampire Diaries: The Awakening Chapter Fourteen

Elena snarl her flesh creep at the words.You dont mean that, she say shakily. She recommended what she had seen on the roof, the logical argument sme bed on Stefans lips, and she forced herself non to recoil from him. Stefan, I exact intercourse you. You couldnt stick out d i thatHe ignored her protestations, vertical went on staring with eyeball that burned standardized the green ice at the bottom of a glacier. He was boldnessing by dint of her, into some paradoxical distance. As I lay in bed that night, I forecastd over against hope that she would come. Already I was noticing some of the switchs in myself. I could see break d make in the dark it seemed I could hear better. I mat up stronger than ever before, full of some elemental energy. And I was hungry.It was a hunger I had neer imagined. At dinner I demonstrate that ordinary food and drink did nothing to satisfy it. I couldnt understand that. And then(prenominal) I saw the unclouded neck of one of the serving girls, and I knew wherefore. He drew a long breath, his eyes dark and tortured. That night, I resisted the choose, though it took each(prenominal)(prenominal) my will. I was count oning of Katherine, and praying she would come to me. Praying He gave a secondary(a) laugh. If a creature resembling me stinkpot pray.Elenas fingers were numb within his grasp, tho she tried to tighten them, to send him reassurance. Go on, Stefan.He had no shake up speaking now. He seemed almost to have forgotten her heraldic bearing, as if he were telling this story to himself.The next morning the need was stronger. It was as if my induce veins were dry and cracked, desperate for moisture. I knew that I couldnt stand it for long.I went to Katherines chambers. I meant to ask her, to plead with her- His vowelise cracked. He paused and then went on. marginally Damon was in that respect already, waiting outside her rooms. I could see thathe hadnt resisted the need. The glow of his s kin, the spring in his tone of voice, told me that. He looked as smug as the cat whos had the cream. tho he hadnt had Katherine. Knock all you comparable, he utter to me, unless the female tophus inside wont let you past. Ive tried already. Shall we ein truthwherepower her, you and I?I wouldnt answer him. The look on his face, that sly, self-satisfied look, repelled me. I pounded on that door to a washn He faltered, and then gave an otherwisewise humorless laugh. I was going to say, to wake the dead. but the dead arent so baffling to wake by and by all, are they? After a moment, he went on.The maid, Gudren, opened the door. She had a face kindred a flat snowy plate, and eyes like morose glass. I asked her if I could see her mistress. I expected to be told that Katherine was asleep, scarce kind of Gudren just looked at me, then at Damon over my shoulder. I would not tellhim , she say at last, provided I will tell you. My skirt Katerina is not within. She went out early this morning, to walk in the gardens. She express she had frequently need of eyeshot.I was surprised. Early this morning? I verbalize. Yes, she replied. She looked at cardinal Damon and me without liking. My mistress was very(prenominal) unhappy last night, she said meaningfully. All night long, she wept.When she said that, a strange feeling came over me. It wasnt just ruth and grief that Katherine should be so unhappy. It was fear. I forgot my hunger and weakness. I level(p) forgot my enmity for Damon. I was filled with haste and a great control urgency. I turned to Damon and told him that we had to find Katherine, and to my surprise he just nodded.We began to hunt the gardens, calling Katherines name. I remember just what everything looked like that solar day. The sun was twinkling on the high cypress trees and the pines in the garden. Damon and I hurried in the midst of them, moving more and more speedily, and calling. We unbroken calling herElena could fee l the tremors in Stefans eubstance, communicated to her through his tightly gripping fingers. He was alive rapidly however shallowly.We had almost reached the end of the gardens when I remembered a place that Katherine had love. It was a little way out onto the primers, a low wall beside a git tree. I started in that respect, yelling for her. further as I got closer, I halt shouting. I mat a fear-a terrible premonition. And I knew I mustnt-mustnt go-Stefan said Elena. He was agonying her, his fingers biting into her own, c surge them. The tremors racing through his personate were growing, fit shudders. Stefan, pleaseBut he gave no sign that he heard her. It was like-a nightmare-everything happening so slowly. I couldnt move-and save I had to. I had to keep walking. With each step, the fear grew stronger. I could whole step it. A smell like burned fat. I mustnt go there-I dont want to see it-His voice had pay foul high and urgent, his breath coming in gasps. His eyes were big and dilated, like a terrified childs. Elena gripped his viselike fingers with her other hand, enfolding them completely. Stefan, its all adept. Youre not there. Youre here with me.I dont want to see it-but I peckt alleviate it. in that respects something color. Something white under the tree. Dont make me look at itStefan, Stefan, look at meHe was beyond hearing. His words came in heaving spasms, as if he could not control them, could not get them out fast enough. I cant go any closer-but I do. I see the tree, the wall. And that white. Behind the tree. sporting with gold underneath. And then I know, I know, and Im moving toward it be elbow grease its her overcharge. Katherines white dress. And I get around the tree and I see it on the ground and its true. Its Katherines dress,-his voice locomote and broke in unimaginable abomination-but Katherine isnt in it.Elena felt a chill, as if her body had been plunged into ice water. Her skin rose in goose-flesh, and she tr ied to speak to him but couldnt. He was rattling on as if he could keep the solicitude away if he kept on talking.Katherine isnt there, so maybe its all a joke, but her dress is on the ground and its full of ashes. Like the ashes in the hearth, just like that, only these smell of burned flesh. They stink. The smell is make me sick and faint. Beside the branch of the dress is a piece of parchment. And on a rock, on a rock a little way away is a ring. A ring with a blue stone, Katherines ring. Katherines ring Suddenly, he called out in a terrible voice, Katherine, what have you do ? and so he fell to his knees, release Elenas fingers at last, to bury his face in his hands.Elena held him as he was gripped by wracking sobs. She held his shoulders, pulling him to her lap. Katherine took the ring off, she whispered. It was not a question. She exposed herself to the sun.His harsh sobs went on and on, as she held him to the full skirts of the blue gown, stroking his quivering shoulder s. She murmured nonsense meant to placid him, pushing away her own horror. And, presently, he quieted and lifted his head. He utter thickly, but he seemed to have returned to the present, to have come back.The parchment was a note, for me and for Damon. It said she had been selfish, wanting to have twain of us. It said-she couldnt bear to be the cause of strife between us. She hoped that once she was gone we would no longer detest each other. She did it to bring us together.Oh, Stefan, whispered Elena. She felt burning part fill her own eyes in sympathy. Oh, Stefan, Im so sorry. But dont you see, after all this period, that what Katherine did was wrong? It was selfish, even, and it washer choice. In a way, it had nothing to do with you, or with Damon.Stefan shook his head as if to shake off the true statement of the words. She gave her life for that. We killed her. He was bewilderting up now. But his eyes were still dilated, great disks of black, and he had the look of a b ittie bewildered boy.Damon came up behind me. He took the note and read it. And then-I think he went mad. We were both mad. I had picked up Katherines ring, and he tried to fall it. He shouldnt have. We struggled. We said terrible things to each other. We each blamed the other for what had happened. I dont remember how we got back to the house, but suddenly I had my sword. We were fighting. I wanted to bankrupt that arrogant face forever, to kill him. I remember my father shouting from the house. We fought harder, to finish it before he reached us.And we were well matched. But Damon had always been stronger, and that day he seemed faster, too, as if he had changed more than I had. And so eyepatch my father was still shouting from the revokeow I felt Damons firebrand get past my guard. Then I felt it enter my heart.Elena stared, aghast, but he went on without pause. I felt the pain of the steel, I felt it stab through me, deep, deep inside. All the way through, a hard thrust. An d then the strength poured out of me and I fell. I lay there on the paved ground.He looked up at Elena and finished simply, And that is how I died.Elena sat frozen, as if the ice shed felt in her chest early tonight had flooded out and trapped her.Damon came and stood over me and bent down. I could hear my fathers cries from far away, and screams from the household, but all I could see was Damons face. Those black eyes that were like a moonless night. I wanted to hurt him for what he had done to me. For everything he had done to me, and to Katherine. Stefan was quiet a moment, and then he said, almost dreamily, And so I lifted my sword and I killed him. With the last of my strength, I stabbed my brother through the heart.The storm had locomote on, and through the broken window Elena could hear velvet night noises, the chirp of crickets, the wind sifting through trees. In Stefans room, it was very still.I knew nothing more until I woke up in my tomb, said Stefan. He leaned back, a way from her, and fold his eyes. His face was pinched and weary, but that awful childlike dreaminess was gone. some(prenominal) Damon and I had had just enough of Katherines blood to keep us from truly dying. Instead we changed. We woke together in our tomb, dressed in our best clothing, set on slabs side by side. We were too weak to hurt each other anymore the blood had been just barely enough. And we were confused. I called to Damon, but he ran outside into the night.Fortunately, we had been buried with the rings Katherine had given us. And I bring her ring in my pocket. As if unconsciously, Stefan reached up to stroke the golden circlet. I suppose they estimation she had given it to me.I tried to go home. That was stupid. The servants screamed at the sight of me and ran to fetch a priest. I ran, too. Into the only place where I was safe, into the dark.And that is where Ive stayed ever since. Its where I belong, Elena. I killed Katherine with my pride and my jealousy, and I k illed Damon with my hatred. But I did worse than kill my brother. I demonic him.If he hadnt died then, with Katherines blood so strong in his veins, he would have had a chance. In time the blood would have grown weaker, and then passed away. He would have become a normal human again. By killing him then, I condemned him to function in the night. I took away his only chance of salvation.Stefan laughed bitterly. Do you know what the name Salvatore means in Italian, Elena? It means salvation, savior. Im named that, and for St. Stephen, the first Christian martyr. And I damned my brother to hell.No, said Elena. And then, in a stronger voice, she said, No, Stefan. He damned himself. He killedyou . But what happened to him after that?For a while he joined one of the Free Companies, ruthless mercenaries whose business was to rob and plunder. He wandered across the country with them, fighting and drinking the blood of his victims.I was living beyond the city gates by then, half starved, preying on animals, an animal myself. For a long time, I heard nothing about Damon. Then one day I heard his voice in my straits.He was stronger than I, because he was drinking human blood. And killing. Humans have the strongest life essence, and their blood gives power. And when theyre killed, in some manner the life essence they give is strongest of all. Its as if in those last moments of terror and struggle the soul is the most vibrant. Because Damon killed humans, he was able to draw on the Powers more than I was.What powers? said Elena. A thought was growing in her mind.Strength, as you said, and quickness. A sharpening of all the senses, especially at night. Those are the basics. We can also feel minds. We can sense their presence, and sometimes the nature of their thoughts. We can cast confusion about weaker minds, either to overwhelm them or to stave off them to our will. There are others. With enough human blood we can change our shapes, become animals. And the more you kill, the stronger all the Powers become.Damons voice in my mind was very strong. He said he was now the condottieri of his own company and he was coming back to Florence. He said that if I was there when he arrived he would kill me. I believed him, and I left(p). Ive seen him once or double since then. The threat is always the same, and hes always more powerful. Damons make the most of his nature, and he seems to glory in its darkest side.But its my nature, too. The same darkness is inside me. I thought that I could conquer it, but I was wrong. Thats why I came here, to Fells Church. I thought if I settled in some small town, far away from the old memories, I competency escape the darkness. And instead, tonight, I killed a man. No, said Elena forcefully. I dont believe that, Stefan. His story had filled her with horror and pity and fear, too. She admitted that. But her disgust had vanished, and there was one thing she was legitimate about. Stefan wasnt a murderer. What happene d tonight, Stefan? Did you argue with Tanner?I dont remember, he said bleakly. I used the Power to persuade him to do what you wanted. Then I left. But later I felt the dizziness and the weakness come over me. Asit has before. He looked up at her directly. The last time it happened was in the cemetery, proficient by the church, the night Vickie Bennett was attacked.But you didnt do that. Youcouldnt have done that Stefan?I dont know, he said harshly. What other explanation is there? And I did take blood from the old man under the bridge, that night you girls ran away from the graveyard. I would have sworn I didnt take enough to harm him, but he almost died. And I was there when both Vickie and Tanner were attacked.But you dont remember attacking them, said Elena, relieved. The idea that had been growing in her mind was now almost a certainty.What difference does it make? Who else could have done it, if not me?Damon, said Elena.He flinched, and she saw his shoulders tighten again. It s a comme il faut thought. I hoped at first that there might be some explanation like that. That it might be someone else, someone like my brother. But Ive searched with my mind and found nothing, no other presence. The simplest explanation is that Im the killer.No, said Elena, you dont understand. I dont just mean that someone like Damon might do the things weve seen. I mean Damon is here, in Fells Church. Ive seen him.Stefan just stared at her.It must be him, Elena said, taking a deep breath. Ive seen him twice now, maybe three times. Stefan, you just told me a long story, and now Ive got one to tell you.As quickly and simply as she could, she told him about what had happened in the gym, and at Bonnies house. His lips tightened into a white line as she told him how Damon had tried to kiss her. Her cheeks grew hot as she remembered her own response, how she had almost given in to him. But she told Stefan everything.About the crow, too, and all the other strange things that had hap pened since she had come home from France.And, Stefan, I think Damon was at the follow House tonight, she finished. Just after you felt dizzy in the campaign room, someone passed me. He was dressed up like-like Death, in black robes and a hood, and I couldnt see his face. But something about the way he go was familiar. It was him, Stefan. Damon was there.But that still wouldnt explain the other times. Vickie and the old man. Idid take blood from the old man. Stefans face was taut, as if he were almost afraid to hope.But you said yourself you didnt take enough to harm him. Stefan, who knows what happened to that man after you left? Wouldnt it be the easiest thing in the world for Damon to attack him then? curiously if Damons been spying on you all along, maybe in some other formLike a crow, murmured Stefan.Like a crow. And as for Vickie Stefan, you said that you can cast confusion over weaker minds, overpower them. Couldnt that be what Damon was doing to you? overpowering your m ind as you can overpower a humans?Yes, and shielding his presence from me. There was mounting excitement in Stefans voice. Thats why he hasnt answered my calls. He wanted-He wanted just whats happened to happen. He wanted you to doubt yourself, to think you were a killer.But it isnt true, Stefan . Oh, Stefan, you know that now, and you dont have to be afraid anymore. She stood up, feeling rejoicing and relief course through her. Out of this hideous night, something wonderful had come.Thats why youve been so distant with me, isnt it? she said, holding out her hands to him. Because youre afraid of what you might do. But theres no need for that any longer.Isnt there ? He was breathing quickly again, and he eyed her outstretched hands as if they were two snakes. You think theres no reason to be afraid? Damon may have attacked those people, but he doesnt control my thoughts. And you dont know what Ive thought about you.Elena kept her voice level. You dont want to hurt me, she said posit ively.No? There have been times, watching you in public, when I could scarcely bear not to fulfill you. When I was so tempted by your white pharynx, your little white throat with the faint blue veins beneath the skin His eyes were fixed on her neck in a way that reminded her of Damons eyes, and she felt her heartbeat step up. Times when I thought I would grab you and force you right there in the school.Theres no need to force me, said Elena. She could feel her pulse everywhere now in her wrists and the inside of her elbows-and in her throat. Ive made my decision, Stefan, she said softly, holding his eyes. I want to.He swallowed thickly. You dont know what youre communicate for. I think Ido . You told me how it was with Katherine, Stefan. I want it to be like that with us. I dont mean I want you to change me. But we can persona a little without that happening, cant we? I know, she added, even more softly, how much you loved Katherine. But shes gone now, and Im here. And I love yo u, Stefan. I want to be with you.You dont know what youre talking about He was standing rigid, his face furious, his eyes anguished. If I once let go, whats tokeep me from changing you, or killing you? The choler is stronger than you can imagine. Dont you understand hitherto what I am, what I can do?She stood there and looked at him quietly, her chin elevated slightly. It seemed to enrage him.Havent you seen enough yet? Or do I have to show you more? Cant you evince what I might do to you? He strode over to the cold fireplace and snatched out a long piece of wood, thicker than both Elenas wrists together. With one motion, he snapped it in two like a match stick. Yourfragile bones, he said. crossways the room was a pillow from the bed he caught it up and with a slash of his nails left the silk cover in ribbons. Yoursoft skin. Then he moved toward Elena with preternatural quickness he was there and had hold of her shoulders before she knew what was happening. He scared into her f ace a moment, then, with a savage hiss that raised the coppers at the nape of her neck, drew his lips back.It was the same snarl shed seen on the roof, those white teeth bared, the canines grown to unbelievable length and sharpness. They were the fangs of a predator, a hunter. Your white neck, he said in a distorted voice.Elena stood paralyzed some other instant, gazing as if compelled into that chilling visage, and then something deep in her unconscious took over. She reached up within the restraining circle of his arms and caught his face between her two hands. His cheeks were unruffled against her palms. She held him that way, softly, so softly, as if to reprove his hard grip on her bare shoulders. And she saw the confusion slowly come to his face, as he recognize she was not doing it to fight him or to shove him away.Elena waited until that confusion reached his eyes, shattering his gaze, becoming almost a look of pleading. She knew that her own face was fearless, soft yet i ntense, her lips slightly parted. They were both breathing quickly now, together, in rhythm. Elena could feel it when he started to shake, trembling as he had when the memories of Katherine had become too much to bear. Then, very gently and deliberately, she drew that snarling mouth down to her own.He tried to support her. But her gentleness was stronger than all his inhuman strength. She shut her eyes and thought only of Stefan, not of the dreadful things she had learned tonight but of Stefan, who had stroked her hair as lightly as if she might break in his hands. She thought of that, and she kissed the predatory mouth that had threatened her a few minutes ago.She felt the change, the transformation in his mouth as he yielded, responding helplessly to her, clash her soft kisses with equal softness. She felt the shudder go through Stefans body as the hard grip on her shoulders softened, too, becoming an embrace. And she knew shed won.You will never hurt me, she whispered.It was as if they were kissing away all the fear and loneliness and loneliness inside them. Elena felt passion surge through her like summer lightning, and she could sense the answering passion in Stefan. But infusing everything else was a gentleness almost frightening in its intensity. There was no need for haste or roughness, Elena thought as Stefan gently guided her to sit down.Gradually, the kisses grew more urgent, and Elena felt the summer lightning flicker all through her body, charging it, making her heart pound and her breath catch. It made her feel strangely soft and dizzy, made her shut her eyes and let her head fall back in abandon.Its time, Stefan, she thought. And, very gently, she drew his mouth down again, this time to her throat. She felt his lips graze her skin, felt his breath warm and cool at once. Then she felt the sharp sting.But the pain faded almost instantly. It was replaced by a feeling of pleasure that made her tremble. A great rushing sweetness filled her, flowin g through her to Stefan.At last she found herself gazing into his face, into a face that at last had no barriers against her, no walls. And the look she saw there made her feel weak.Do you trust me? he whispered. And when she simply nodded, he held her eyes and reached for something beside the bed. It was the dagger. She regarded it without fear, and then fixed her eyes again on his face.He never looked away from her as he unsheathed it and made a small cut at the base of his throat. Elena looked at it wide-eyed, at the blood as bright as holly berries, but when he urged her forward she did not try to resist him.Afterward he just held her a long time, while the crickets outside made their music. Finally, he stirred.I wish you could stay here, he whispered. I wish you could stay forever. But you cant.I know, she said, equally quiet. Their eyes met again in silent communion. There was so much to say, so many reasons to be together. Tomorrow, she said. Then, leaning against his should er, she whispered, some(prenominal) happens, Stefan, Ill be with you. Tell me you believe that.His voice was hushed, muffled in her hair. Oh, Elena, I believe it. Whatever happens, well be together.